Funny Quotes

You know… in a thousand or so years, archaeologists are gonna dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment..

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE WHORE,
CLOSE YOUR LEGS, THEY’RE NOT A DOOR!

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman”

- Author Unknown

“What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck”

- Author Unknown

“Men are like bank accounts, without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest”

- Author Unknown

“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way”

- Author Unknown

“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils”

- Author Unknown

“There once was a man from Cape Horn, who wished he had never been born… and he wouldn’t have been, if his father had seen, that the tip of the condom was torn.”